Dying To Ask

Stop Work Drama in 3 Steps With Richard Birke

Sick of work drama? You can diffuse most conflicts with three simple steps.

Richard Birke is the senior vice president of JAMS Institute, a conflict resolution company.

He's a master mediator. Things have to be really bad before he heads into a workplace and usually the goal is to avoid litigation.

But we all deal with conflict in our lives. Maybe it's someone who gets under your skin at work? Maybe it's someone who lets everyone else do all the work. Or, it's someone who knows exactly the wrong thing to say.

Unsettled conflict hurts your mood and impacts both creativity and productivity. The person who suffers the most when you don't deal with drama is you.

Richard has a three-step plan to diffuse conflict. You'll change your mindset and actually get a script of what to say (or not say) to someone annoying you. Think of this as your playbook to reduce drama in your life!

On this Dying to Ask:

• How to shift your mindset when you're in the middle of a conflict
• What you need to know about your communication style to effectively deal with others
• And a 10-second tip to change the tone of an interaction

How Gratitude Makes You Happier

Gratitude is an attitude. And, it might be the easiest way to boost your happiness.

This week, we're revisiting the role gratitude plays in our physical and mental health. The holidays are a great time to hit a "reset" and reflect on what's really important in your life.

My colleague Edie Lambert just produced an incredible story on the science of happiness and a new way it's being taught through gratitude at Sacramento State University.

Dr. Meliksah Demir is Sac State's very first "endowed professor in happiness."

He teaches a class called The Psychology of Happiness.

"When you practice gratitude, it has the potential to give you the sense of peace, comfort, which is likely to help you say before bedtime, to breathe easily and then comfortably sleep. Perhaps this could be one reason as to why we are observing those benefits in the sleep domain," says Dr. Demir.

And his students are impressed by what they're learning.

"If you practice gratitude, happiness, you make more money, sleep better, better health. I've been surprised at how many benefits there are," says Amanda Rose.

You can check out Edie's story here.

On this Dying to Ask:

• The impact gratitude makes in mindset
• How to play the "gratitude game" this holiday season
• What you can learn about a person by asking them what they're grateful for
• And what happened when I asked my colleagues to tell me what they're thankful for right now

How To Be A Genius With Biographer Walter Isaacson

Here's a genius move. Immerse yourself in a few more interests and watch yourself grow intellectually.

That's the advice from biographer Walter Isaacson. And he should know as he's often considered the genius biographer.

Isaacson is a bestselling author. He's written biographies about people including Leonardo da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs and Jennifer Doudna.

He's a former editor of Time Magazine and served as the CEO of the Aspen Institute in addition to teaching at Tulane University.

His latest book may be his most controversial due to his subject, Elon Musk.

Isaacson spent two years with Musk with what he describes as unfiltered total access.

He thought the book would primarily focus on electric cars and space travel. Then came the Twitter sale in the middle of his writing project.

Now, Isaacson's Elon Musk is out and he's facing criticism from some in the tech world for taking hit too easy on a controversial leader. Isaacson says his job is to be a storyteller and it's a reader's job to reach conclusions on his subjects.

On this Dying to Ask:

• The unusual deal Walter Isaacson struck with musk before writing the book
• How Isaacson found out Musk had accepted his offer to do the book
• How the Twitter sale impacted his research and book
• Why broadening your interests helps you think bigger

Avoid Holiday Stress With This Fall Organization Hack

Move over spring cleaning. Fall organization may have an even bigger impact on mindset, stress levels and happiness.

Kim Salisbury is a personal organizer and the creator of Home Method Co. She says a lot of people get a burst of energy when the cooler weather starts. She recommends using that energy to get your house ready before the holiday season.

Want to thrive instead of survive the holidays? The key is getting the holiday to-do's done now, not later.

"I always say to try to get as much done as you can in October and November before Thanksgiving. Make a list of everything that you need to do before the holidays," advises Salisbury. 

The holidays are stressful because of all the extra demands on your time. Those opportunities should be fun. Don't resent them. Just prep for them.

Take our Fall Organization Challenge and give yourself the gift of decompression!

On this Dying to Ask:

• The psychology behind fall organization
• Why your fridge and pantry deserve your time and Clorox wipes
• How an organizing binge will save you money this holiday season
• The gift hack to reduce waste and increase happiness
• How to make a master holiday to-do list that will keep you accountable

Detoxing ’A to Z’ With Author Sophia Ruan Gushee

Sophia Ruan Gushee is one of the least toxic people you'll meet. That's probably because she wrote the book on it.

She's the author of "The A to Z of D-Toxing" and the host of the Practical Nontoxic Living podcast.

But Sophia isn't a scientist and didn't study harmful plastics in school.

Becoming a mom for the first time forced her to look at her environment in a whole new way. That led her to question the impact of products she used on her family's health.

The questions turned into answers and, ultimately, major lifestyle changes to reduce exposure to toxic chemicals. Her book reads like an encyclopedia and is like a bible for families trying to reduce toxic exposure.

Along the way, Sophia became the go-to expert in all things toxic. She left her dream job to become a practical, nontoxic lifestyle expert.

In her passion, Sophia found her purpose.

The good news?

Leading a less toxic lifestyle doesn't have to be hard. A few simple swaps can lower your exposure and ultimately let you feel better about harmful toxins that are seemingly everywhere.

Sophia is smart, kind and essentially a non-toxic cheerleader for those of us who would like to do better but really don't need it to feel like a lot of work!

On this Dying to Ask:

• Sophia's unlikely path from finance to nontoxic lifestyle expert
• The role convenience plays in our lifestyle choices
• 3 simple swaps you can make today to live a cleaner lifestyle
• And, how did Sophia decide to go all-in on her new career?

4 ways to jumpstart motivation when you’re just not feeling it

Have something you need to do but can't find the motivation? Join the club.

Sometimes it's just hard to get yourself going, even if you're normally a disciplined person.

It's normal and it's really annoying!

This week, we're looking at where motivation comes from and why it's hard to jumpstart sometimes.

And we have a 4 step action plan to fire up your motivation to get more out of life.

On this Dying to Ask:

• Defense of the word "busy"
• The difference between "have to's and want to's"
• Why your "want to's" get put off first
• A 4 step plan to get motivated

 

 

Other places to listen

CLICK HERE to listen on iTunes
CLICK HERE to listen on Stitcher

 

 

 

 

Diving Into ’Victory In The Pool’ With Bill George

This summer, Paris will become the second city to host three summer Olympics. This week, we're merging history and the Olympics on the "Dying to Ask" podcast.

Bill George is the author of a new book called "Victory in the Pool."

Decades before Team USA celebrated names like Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky, Sacramento was the center of U.S. swimming, and its aquatic leader was a guy named Sherm Chavoor.

Chavoor coached athletes, including Debbie Meyer, Mark Spitz and Mike Burton, to win Olympic gold medals between 1968 and 1972.

Chavoor coached at the Arden Hills Swim and Tennis Club.

But he wasn't a swimmer himself.

And Sherm Chavoor wasn't even his real name.

"He didn't publicize it. His real name was Izikiel Correa and he was a poor kid from the Oakland area. He came to Sacramento as a swim coach and became famous as Sherm Chavoor. Everybody knew him as Sherm Chavoor. I think even his swimmers never really realized his real name," George said.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How Sherm Chavoor became Sherm Chavoor.
• How he started a swimming dynasty that defied race, religion and social status.
• And how a natural knack for marketing led underdog swimmers and a green coach to greatness.

John Legend’s ’Twin’ Talakai Seizes The Moment

As doppelgangers go, Talakai is the ultimate winner. And now he can credit his likeness for his latest opportunity.

Talakai is a 34-year-old singer from Sacramento. He turned chairs with his rendition of Sam Smith's "Stay With Me" during the blind auditions on "The Voice." Then, he turned heads with his uncanny resemblance to judge John Legend.

“Wait until you see his face,” Legend told Niall Horan and Gwen Stefani as the other coaches turned their chairs following Talakai’s performance.

Twinning with a superstar is nothing new for Talakai. He can't go anywhere without someone saying something. The thing is, Talakai can sing. Like, really sing. And now the world, and John Legend, know it.

Talakai stopped by the KCRA 3 studios in his now signature "Legend" jacket and charmed everyone he met. He's as likable as he is talented and is enjoying every minute of what he calls "the best week of my life."

He is seizing the moment and has advice on how you can, too.

On this Dying to Ask:

• What it's like to have a famous doppelganger
• How to take advantage of a natural edge
• How to be in the moment when it happens

The Power Of a Beginner’s Mindset

What if I told you the key to personal growth could be forgetting everything you know? It's called a beginner's mind, and it's worth mastering.

It's the idea of approaching something with a 100% fresh perspective or like you've never done it before.

Do you remember the thrill of riding a bike? How about learning to read? Speaking another language and actually having someone understand what you're saying?

Beginner's mind is a little like the social media trend, "I was today years old when..."

It's a powerful tool.

Mastering a beginner's mindset can pay off big time for your physical and mental health.

And it's linked to boosting creativity and overall happiness.

On this Dying to Ask:

• The areas of your life that can benefit from a beginner's mindset.
• Three ways to develop a beginner's mind.

Why We All Want Glowy Skin With Elise Hu, Author Of ’Flawless’

The Korean Wave continues and it's coming after your pores. Korean exports of beauty products have surpassed smartphones.

Elise Hu is the author of "Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital."

Hu is a journalist and podcaster who currently is the host of "Ted Talks Daily."

Flawless is inspired by her years working as an NPR bureau chief in Seoul, South Korea.

The book examines how South Korea's pervasive beauty culture spread globally as the latest ripple of a Korean Wave of entertainment and tech.

"Six out of 10 of all Netflix subscribers in the world have watched some sort of Korean content. When it comes to Korean beauty, Korea is now exporting more cosmetics and skin care and skin care tools than it exports in smartphones," Hu said.

Hu's book is part memoir, part international investigative reporting, and well-researched.

Fun fact: Elise and I are both graduates of the University of Missouri School of Journalism, and our former professor connected us for this interview!

On this 'Dying to Ask':

• How Korean beauty culture seeped into and then dominated beauty culture around the world
• What is technological gaze, and how it impacts your feelings about yourself
• How Zoom forever changed and blurred the visual and virtual world
• Why is glowy skin a thing?
• A reality check on how much beauty costs in terms of time and money
• And how do we get to a better balance in our lives where we're more accepting of who we actually are?