Dying To Ask

The Most Stressful Word In The English Language

You SHOULD stop saying the word SHOULD immediately if you want a near-instant boost to your mental health and creativity.

That's the recommendation from psychotherapist Dr. Ron Alexander.

Dr. Alexander is a go-to mindset shifter for clients including Apple, Universal Pictures, Sony Entertainment and Microsoft.

He's also the author of Core Creativity: The Mindful Way to Unlock your Creative Self.

The American Psychological Association says 27% of adults report being so stressed they can't function in everyday life! Read the report here. 

Dr. Alexander has a simple tip that provides a lot of us relief.

Stop saying the word should.

He calls it the most stressful word in the English language.

Dr. Alexander says the word should is harmful because "it implies you are wasting time or doing things that aren't important instead of what you 'should' be doing."

You can stay out of the stress zone and get a near-instant positivity boost by using different self-talk.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How the word should impacts mindset
• What you can say instead of should to reduce stress
• What the second most stressful word is that you likely use all day long
• And how quickly your stress levels decrease by dropping the word should

BONUS: Behind The Scenes Of ’Bringing Down The House’

An extortion note. A statewide manhunt. The most complicated bomb in history.

It's not the plot of a movie. It actually happened.

It's the subject of the first collaboration between Hearst Television's KCRA and Very Local.

And it's also a great example of what can happen when someone who likes their job decides to spread their wings within their current workplace.

Dave Manoucheri is the producer and director of "Bringing Down the House."

The documentary explores the bombing of Harvey's Casino in South Lake Tahoe in 1980.

No one died. No one got hurt.

But a 1,000-pound bomb did go off and blew up part of the casino.

It's the stuff Hollywood movies are made of, yet few people really know what happened.

Dave and KCRA 3 photojournalist Victor Nieto spent a year tracking down everyone from the lead FBI agent, to the bomber's son, to the grandson of casino owner Harvey Gross.

In this BONUS Dying to Ask:

• What drew Dave Manoucheri to the backstory of the Harvey's bombing
• Who on the KCRA 3 staff got tasked with building a bomb (non-working) for a re-creation
• The lengths Dave and photojournalist Victor Nieto went to for the show to have an authentic 80s vibe
• And the personal benefits Dave got out of tackling this year-long assignment

 

Should You Get In On The Giant Water Bottle Trend?

Are water bottles the size of a toddler the key to better health? TikTok says yes and giant water bottles are having a moment.

Social media is filled with influencers touting the health benefits of downing large amounts of water each day.

Increased water intake gets the credit for everything from better skin to lower weight to increased energy.

That's led to an entire industry of giant water bottles. Water prophets are filling social media feeds linking increased productivity thanks to increased water consumption.

And, it's made companies that make those bottles like Stanley and Hydroflask household names.

But how did giant water bottles become a lifestyle trend?

And, is it a trend you should jump on?

On this Dying to Ask:

• How giant water bottles became a trend
• Why some people are addicted to lugging them around and what it's like to chug from one all day long
• Can increasing water really improve your skin and help you lose weight?
• And a reality check on how much water you really need in a day

This week's podcast recommendation: Listen to "Can you really trust your gut" on Ten Percent Happier here.

3 Ways To Wake Up Feeling Refreshed

Want to feel more refreshed when you wake up tomorrow? The secret lies in what you do today.

That's the conclusion of a sleep study that looked at the neurological reasons of why it's hard to wake up and why some people feel less energetic after the alarm goes off.

UC Berkeley researchers teamed up with European counterparts and analyzed sleep data from roughly 800 people.

They tracked how much participants exercised, ate and slept. They then monitored the participants' alertness when they woke up.

You can read the full study here.

The big conclusion? What you do today significantly impacts how you will feel when you get up tomorrow.

Raphael Vallat, the lead author of the study, is my guest this week.

Raphael will break down three basic things you can focus on to improve how you feel tomorrow morning.

In this Dying to Ask:

• How to figure out how much sleep you really need
• The best breakfast to eat today to wake up better tomorrow
• Why workouts impact sleep quality

This week's podcast recommendation: Listen here for "This Organized Life"

4 Ways To Make Fitness Habits Stick

Getting in shape is the number one New Year's resolution. But 80% of people have failed their goals by February because they haven't figured out how to make fitness habits stick.

Solidifying habits can be hard. But there are hacks putting actions and behaviors on autopilot.

Keystone habits are the things you do that you don't have to think about.

When fitness isn't on autopilot, New Year's health goals don't stand a chance.

Just do, don't think.

That's the advice from researchers at the University of Scranton. In a study called "The Resolution Solution," they studied when our New Year's goals lose steam. They confirmed eight out of 10 New Year's resolutions fall apart by February.

"The problem is that people have great intentions. They get started, but they don't really have a plan on how they're going to execute it is that why we tend to fall into that statistic of 80% of the people drop off by February," says personal trainer Ty Rendlich- Texidor.

This week, we're doing a deep dive with three experts who've made working out work for them.

You'll learn how they plan their week. Find out how to use Instagram as an accountability partner versus time suck. And, if you're a data geek? It might be time to go streaking.

On this "Dying to Ask":

• Sobering stats about how little willpower we have to follow through on fitness goals
• A planning technique that increases your probability of following through on a workout
• How KCRA 3 Meteorologist Tamara Berg finds self-motivation through selfies
• Why the best workout starts in your closet the night before
• Four ways to make 2023 the year you follow through on fitness goals

This week's podcast recommendation: Listen here for Ali on the Run.

Why You Need A Work Best Friend And How To Find One

Do you have a work best friend? New research says work besties are the key to professional and personal happiness.

The Gallup organization tracked workplace relationships (non-romantic) and found having a work best friend is good for morale and good for the bottom line. The research showed those relationships are good for employee engagement.

Having a work best friend is proven to raise morale, increase productivity and help with employee retention.

Most interesting, the need for strong work connections has gone up since the pandemic thanks to an increase in remote work and a decrease in worker satisfaction.

Bosses: want to hang onto your people and make them happier without spending money? Create a supportive environment that encourages colleagues to interact beyond the scope of their jobs.

Employees: want to enjoy the place you likely spend the bulk of your day? Find a friend and enjoy life on the job together by vesting in each other's personal and professional lives.

The research is so overwhelming that wellness writer Jancee Dunn included the importance of work friends in Day 5 of the NY Times Wells series, the "7 Day Happiness Challenge."

My KCRA 3 colleague and work bestie Edie Lambert joins me in this episode to explain how we forged a deep relationship despite the fact we've never worked in the same room at the same time.

And we'll offer a four-step plan on how to find a friend at work.

In this week's "Dying to Ask" podcast:

• Why workplace friendships are more important since the pandemic
• Four ways to get and be a work best friend

This week's podcast recommendation: Listen here for Ali on the Run

Go Ahead and Feast on Activity Snacks

Want an easy way to improve your health? Add an activity snack into every hour.

An activity snack is a short break where you get up and move. A "snack" as small as five minutes can have a big impact on how you feel and perform. And science has proven it.

Dr. Keith Diaz, an associate professor of behavioral medicine at the Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons, conducted the study.

Dr. Diaz researched the harmful effects of sitting. Participants took part in "activity snacks," usually simply leaving a desk and walking for a few minutes.

You can read the results here.

Bottom line, moving is life-changing.

Move as little as five minutes and you will likely impact things like blood pressure, diabetes and mental health.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How we got to a point that we have to remind ourselves to get up and move.
• The unexpected business benefits to getting your people walking more.
• Come along on an activity snack with my friend and colleague, Eileen Javora

This week's podcast recommendation: Before Breakfast with Laura Vanderkam.

 

What Is Singular Focus And How To Get It

Want to be more productive? Stop multitasking and master the lost art of singular focus.

Singular focus is loosely defined as doing one thing at a time.

That might seem like a colossal waste of energy in a world where we wear busyness as a badge and treat spinning plates as an Olympic sport.

But research continues to show that multitasking isn't as effective as we think. And, it's harming our mental health by increasing stress and anxiety.

Constant interruptions to your attention are bad for business too in terms of lost productivity.

How you do one thing is how you do everything. And, if you can re-learn singular focus, you might find you have more time on your hands and more to show in general for your effort.

But it's surprisingly hard to do one thing at a time after years of doing 17 things at once. We're breaking it down into three steps you can implement today.

New this episode? Don't miss "what I'm listening to" at the end of the show for recommendations to other podcasts worth listening to.

On this Dying to Ask:

• What singular focus is and why worth mastering
• The big lesson I learned when I was forced into singular focus
• 3 ways to improve your focus

This week's podcast recommendation: 23 in 23 on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast

How Being Fired As A Class Mom Changed Laurie Gelman’s Life

Laurie Gelman got fired from a volunteer gig as a class mom. Then she wrote the best-selling book series "Class Mom" and wrote her personal next chapter as an author.

Chances are you've seen Laurie Gelman from time to time on "Live with Kelly and Ryan." Her husband Michael Gelman is the show's producer.

Gelman worked in TV as well as a news anchor, reporter and TV host. She left TV after the birth of her daughters and threw herself into raising kids and volunteering at their school.

An invitation to be the class mom led to firm advice from Live's host Kelly Ripa, who warned that the volunteer gig was to be avoided at all costs. Laurie ignored Kelly's advice and jumped into the job with enthusiasm and humor.

She infused sarcasm and humor into emails with parents to get their attention about school activities. It was a huge hit with parents until it wasn't. A mother complained about Laurie's approach and Laurie got fired as class mom. Yes, you can get fired from a volunteer school position.

"It was my agent who said, when I was complaining about getting fired as class mom, 'that's your book, you know.' That's and it just poured out of me. I didn't expect to write sequels. I didn't expect anything to come of it, because it took me three years to write it, and literally, nobody on this planet was waiting for a book from Laurie Gelman. It was a happy accident," Gelman said.

"Class Mom" is now a four-book series and tells the story of Jenn Dixon, who navigates parent politics with humor, as Laurie did in real life.

It's irreverent. It's well-written. And, it turned into a total midlife career pivot Laurie Gelman never saw coming.

On this week's Dying to Ask:

• The backstory on what it takes to get fired as a class mom
• How to see the humor in universal experiences like volunteering at your kids school
• What real-life class moms think of Laurie's books
• And what its been like for Laurie and her husband to raise their family behind the scenes on on-air of "Live with Kelly and Ryan"

How To Beat Jet Lag And Be A Better Human With Andrew Herr

Andrew Herr wants to make you a better human. A better performing human that is.

Herr is a human performance expert.

He claims he can get rid of 95% jet lag with protocols designed to optimize sleep, light exposure and what you eat and drink.

His most recent high-profile client? Team USA's men's soccer team and its performance at the World Cup indicates the guys are feeling good.

The U.S. Army has twice named Herr a "Mad Scientist" for his work in optimizing rest protocols for fighter pilots.

Among his early "lab rats?" Navy Seals.

Herr's early work with the military transitioned to an entrepreneurial effort called Fount.

Fount creates protocols and products to help you feel and perform your best.

FlyKitt is his most recent creation. The app-based program controls how you feel post-flying by dictating what you do before and during a flight.

But you don't have to be an elite athlete or a frequent flier to improve your daily performance. Herr's unique take on our "humanness" has takeaways for all of us.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How the Department of Defense found Andrew and what it asked him to do.
• How controlling inflammation is the key to feeling good and performing better.
• How Andrew made the entrepreneurial leap with Fount.
• The easiest lifestyle hacks you can make to feel better today.