Dying To Ask

What Is Singular Focus And How To Get It

Want to be more productive? Stop multitasking and master the lost art of singular focus.

Singular focus is loosely defined as doing one thing at a time.

That might seem like a colossal waste of energy in a world where we wear busyness as a badge and treat spinning plates as an Olympic sport.

But research continues to show that multitasking isn't as effective as we think. And, it's harming our mental health by increasing stress and anxiety.

Constant interruptions to your attention are bad for business too in terms of lost productivity.

How you do one thing is how you do everything. And, if you can re-learn singular focus, you might find you have more time on your hands and more to show in general for your effort.

But it's surprisingly hard to do one thing at a time after years of doing 17 things at once. We're breaking it down into three steps you can implement today.

New this episode? Don't miss "what I'm listening to" at the end of the show for recommendations to other podcasts worth listening to.

On this Dying to Ask:

• What singular focus is and why worth mastering
• The big lesson I learned when I was forced into singular focus
• 3 ways to improve your focus

This week's podcast recommendation: 23 in 23 on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast

How Being Fired As A Class Mom Changed Laurie Gelman’s Life

Laurie Gelman got fired from a volunteer gig as a class mom. Then she wrote the best-selling book series "Class Mom" and wrote her personal next chapter as an author.

Chances are you've seen Laurie Gelman from time to time on "Live with Kelly and Ryan." Her husband Michael Gelman is the show's producer.

Gelman worked in TV as well as a news anchor, reporter and TV host. She left TV after the birth of her daughters and threw herself into raising kids and volunteering at their school.

An invitation to be the class mom led to firm advice from Live's host Kelly Ripa, who warned that the volunteer gig was to be avoided at all costs. Laurie ignored Kelly's advice and jumped into the job with enthusiasm and humor.

She infused sarcasm and humor into emails with parents to get their attention about school activities. It was a huge hit with parents until it wasn't. A mother complained about Laurie's approach and Laurie got fired as class mom. Yes, you can get fired from a volunteer school position.

"It was my agent who said, when I was complaining about getting fired as class mom, 'that's your book, you know.' That's and it just poured out of me. I didn't expect to write sequels. I didn't expect anything to come of it, because it took me three years to write it, and literally, nobody on this planet was waiting for a book from Laurie Gelman. It was a happy accident," Gelman said.

"Class Mom" is now a four-book series and tells the story of Jenn Dixon, who navigates parent politics with humor, as Laurie did in real life.

It's irreverent. It's well-written. And, it turned into a total midlife career pivot Laurie Gelman never saw coming.

On this week's Dying to Ask:

• The backstory on what it takes to get fired as a class mom
• How to see the humor in universal experiences like volunteering at your kids school
• What real-life class moms think of Laurie's books
• And what its been like for Laurie and her husband to raise their family behind the scenes on on-air of "Live with Kelly and Ryan"

How To Beat Jet Lag And Be A Better Human With Andrew Herr

Andrew Herr wants to make you a better human. A better performing human that is.

Herr is a human performance expert.

He claims he can get rid of 95% jet lag with protocols designed to optimize sleep, light exposure and what you eat and drink.

His most recent high-profile client? Team USA's men's soccer team and its performance at the World Cup indicates the guys are feeling good.

The U.S. Army has twice named Herr a "Mad Scientist" for his work in optimizing rest protocols for fighter pilots.

Among his early "lab rats?" Navy Seals.

Herr's early work with the military transitioned to an entrepreneurial effort called Fount.

Fount creates protocols and products to help you feel and perform your best.

FlyKitt is his most recent creation. The app-based program controls how you feel post-flying by dictating what you do before and during a flight.

But you don't have to be an elite athlete or a frequent flier to improve your daily performance. Herr's unique take on our "humanness" has takeaways for all of us.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How the Department of Defense found Andrew and what it asked him to do.
• How controlling inflammation is the key to feeling good and performing better.
• How Andrew made the entrepreneurial leap with Fount.
• The easiest lifestyle hacks you can make to feel better today.

Take The Holiday Gratitude Challenge

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed?

Join our holiday gratitude challenge. Commit to focusing on what you're grateful for every day from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day.

Gratitude is an attitude. It's also the quickest way to improve your mental and physical health.

Science backs that up.

There is a lot of research that supports that being thankful can lower stress and improve your sense of well-being.

And it doesn't take long to start seeing results.

This week, we're taking a look at the power of a simple gratitude practice and encouraging you to join our Gratitude Challenge.

Try one of our three tips each day and see how the

In this Dying to Ask:

• A 30-second way to make gratitude a habit
• The gratitude hack that can stop your kids from fighting in the car
• And the two words that will keep you engaged in The Gratitude Challenge

3 Ways To Avoid Holiday Stress

'Tis the season to get stressed out. But, what if we made a game plan to thrive and not just survive the holidays?

This year, I'm treating the holidays like I would an endurance race.

I'm developing a strategy, making a plan, and I'm going to stick to it in order to get to the finish line.

That finish line? A less stressed holiday season that focuses on the meaning behind the season and being in the moment.

And, that could be tricky this year since all your holiday favorites (and not so favorites) are back after their pandemic hiatus.

In this episode, we'll identify three ways you can lower your stress level without missing out on holiday fun.

But the "work" starts now. We're frontloading the holiday chore list and making decisions about what we will and won't do right now.

The goal is to make being truly in the moment doable and allow you free time to be spontaneous with the people you care about.

In this Dying to Ask:

• 3 ways to reduce holiday stress
• How to put the "no" into November
• And a reality check on family traditions

The Ironman behind the 13 for 13 Heroes Mission

What's your "why?" Mark Goldman's "why" for being an Ironman is simple. "I can because they can't."

They are the 13 Americans the Ironman athlete competes in honor of in the 13 for 13 Heroes Mission.

Goldman said, "13 for 13 Heroes is simply a mission to complete 13 Ironman, full distance or half distance races in honor of each of the 13 service members who we lost on August 26th of withdrawing from Afghanistan after our 20-year presence there."

Goldman is a husband, father and businessman from Minneapolis. He's a recreational athlete who turned to Ironman racing to test his personal limits and improve his health.

The Ironman is a 140.6-mile endurance race featuring a 2.4-mile swim, 112 miles of cycling and a 26.2-mile run.

The explosion that took the lives of the 13 service members at the Kabul Airport made Goldman think his athletic efforts could bring attention to the sacrifice military families make.

Each of his races takes place near where one of the heroes grew up. Goldman races with an American flag tucked into his wetsuit, his bike jersey pocket and on a flag pole he carries while he runs the marathon.

Goldman's mission will be spread out over three years.

Race number 4 is Ironman Sacramento where Goldman will honor the life of Marine Sgt. Nicole Gee, who grew up in Roseville.

Sherri Juels, Gee's aunt, will be at the race cheering Goldman on and will greet him at the finish line. Juels said, "It's just nice knowing that there are people like Mark who to crazy extent 140.6 miles to honor her is insane. I'm so honored by him doing this to keep her name alive."

In this Dying to Ask:

• The logistics of the 13 for 13 Heroes Mission
• Goldman's training secrets to stay fit and healthy to meet the goal
• How to train to run with a flag pole for 26.2 miles
• The role Goldman's personal health journey played in coming up with the idea
• How families of the 13 service members reacted to his plan
• How the experience has already changed him as a man and the surprising trait he says is heightened because of the mission

How Ironman Athlete Michelle Bandur Turned A Bully’s Message Into A Movement

From an act of meanness to an act of kindness. A bully's note changed Michelle Bandur's life forever.

Michelle Bandur was working as a TV reporter in Omaha when she got a card with a dollar in it from a viewer.

The card instructed her to "accept the gift and use it wisely. 50 cents for those bags under your eyes and 50 cents for your big, fat nose. You need the help." It was signed, "A viewer."

The note was devastatingly mean and triggered insecurities she'd felt being teased as a kid.

That, despite the fact Bandur is an award-winning and accomplished investigative journalist.

The reality is female newscasters are frequent targets of physical criticism. Usually, we ignore it.

This time, Bandur decided to expose the bully and start a movement to empower young girls.

She took the bully's dollar, asked for more dollars from the community and started Ironhawk Juniors Triathlon Club. The club teaches girls 8-14 how to swim, bike and run with the goal of completing a triathlon. It's 100% free, and the club even finds free bikes for girls who don't have one.

Bandur never did find out who sent the mean card and dollar.

"I do want to say thank you because think of all the girls that we've helped. Think of the message that's out there. Turning, taking a negative and turning it into a positive and uh really helped kind of change the lives of so many people teaching girls how to love themselves, giving them the self-confidence, knowing they can accomplish something that they've set out to do, and they finish it. That's so rewarding and so satisfying. So, hey bully, thanks appreciate it," said Bandur.

Bandur's "big fat nose" card resulted in a TED Talk that's been viewed thousands of times and landed her on the cover of Triathlete Magazine.

In this Dying to Ask:

• What receiving the mean card and dollar triggered in Bandur that she hadn't felt in years
• The hilarious advice her news director gave her when Bandur showed her the note
• How quickly the Ironhawk Juniors Racing Club came about and how many lives have been changed in the process
• And we do a lightning round of "Ask Michelle" and get advice on everything from moving across the country in mid-life to feeling confident at any age

’Chopped’ Winner’s Memoir Details Realities Of Antidepressant Withdrawal

Brooke Siem went from winning "Chopped" to writing a memoir.

But her book isn't about cooking. It's about perfecting the recipe for living her life.

"May Cause Side Effects" is the story of what happened when Siem went off antidepressants after being on them for 15 years, having started them at the onset of depression after the sudden death of her father.

Siem's journey off antidepressants started with a question her psychiatrist couldn't answer. "What would I be like and how would I feel without antidepressants?"

At 30, she'd been on the same drugs she'd been prescribed as a teenager. At 30, she still had suicidal ideation and felt unhappy.

Under her doctor's supervision, Siem decided to find out what her true "baseline" for mental health, and life in general, was without medication.

What she didn't realize was how physically and emotionally hard antidepressant withdrawal can be or how long it can take.

The opportunity to go on "Chopped" happened at a time when Siem assumed the drugs would be out of her system. Instead, she was in the depths of withdrawal and no one on the show or in the audience knew. And then she won.

"May Cause Side Effects" is one woman's story of what withdrawal looked and felt like for a solid year. It's about rebuilding a life while appearing on national TV and then traveling the world.

It's raw.

It's poignant.

It's funny.

And it will make you think about your own mental health and what you are doing to take care of yourself in a whole new way.

On this Dying to Ask:

• Siem's turning point that led to the decision to stop antidepressant use after 15 years
• The question that never came up in Siem's mental health appointments
• How Siem ended up on the show "Chopped"
• Questions Siem recommends we all ask our doctors about mental health
• And Siem debunks myths about competing on a TV cooking show

How To Make Rest Your Superpower

Take a rest.

Learning how to unplug with purpose is a superpower worth developing. Science will back you up on that.

Being chronically tired is linked to hormonal imbalances and mental health issues. It creates or worsens physical problems too.

Americans are overtired, overworked and overwhelmed. Taking a rest, even a short one, can help you recharge in a hurry.

But, why does the concept of rest seem so elusive to so many of us? Why is taking a break seen as a break in productivity versus a badge of honor?

Taking a brain break often leads to an increase in creativity, productivity, and overall well being.

And, you don't have to crawl in bed for the afternoon to see results.

A few well-timed "rest breaks" can revive you enough to feel a boost that will carry you to bedtime.

In this Dying to Ask:

• Why rest is so hard for some people
• The science that backs the importance of quieting your mind
• Hacks to build short breaks into your day without shirking responsibilities
• Easy habit stacking tools to change your outlook in minutes

How To Live An Affordably Fabulous Life With HGTV Star Lauren Makk

You are how you live and how you live should be fabulous. That's Lauren Makk's motto and the best part is you don't have to break the bank to live her vision.

Makk sprung to TV design fame on "Trading Spaces."

Her TV career has included stints on shows like "Drill Team" on A&E, "FABlife" alongside Chrissy Teigan and Tyra Banks, "Home Made Simple" on the Oprah Winfrey Network, and "Design Star: Next Gen" on HGTV.

Makk grew up in Oklahoma watching her mom flip houses. Her design career took off after college in Los Angeles designing model homes.

By 2005, the real estate bubble popped. Answering a Craigslist ad changed the trajectory of Lauren's life.

Her penchant for affordable luxury is at the core of her message that everyone deserves to love the feel and look of their home.

And, she firmly believes that you can change your mood and outlook by freshening your personal space.

On this Dying to Ask:

• The backstory of how Lauren got her big break on "Trading Spaces"
• How Lauren constantly re-invents herself and pivots for professional opportunities
• Two home design changes you can make this weekend that will lift your mood without breaking the bank
• The lifestyle change Lauren made that keeps her energy high and her personal life on track
• And learn a lifechanging #Makkhack to remove stubborn price stickers from candles and gifts bought at discount stores