Dying To Ask

How A 2,000-Plus-Day Yoga Streak Fuels Jasmine Guillory’s Mind And Body

From lawyer to a New York Times bestselling author. Jasmine Guillory found her "happily ever after" writing happily ever afters.

Vogue Magazine calls Jasmine the "queen of the modern-day romance."

Literary fairy godmother Reese Witherspoon's book club has featured her work too. Her book, "The Proposal," was the first romance ever picked for Witherspoon's club.

Jasmine's books feature accomplished Black women navigating romantic complications.

Jasmine is a Stanford Law grad who worked as an attorney for years before giving fiction a try as a hobby.

She found the creative outlet exhilarating and soon was spending lunch breaks, evenings and weekends writing. An online novel writing challenge provided the push to finish her first book.

But she didn't quit her day job. And Jasmine credits that decision for a successful professional pivot.

Eventually, Jasmine secured a multi-book publishing deal and spent five weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.

Eight books later, Jasmine writes the kind of books that Publisher's Weekly describes like this: "The lush background and Guillory's signature blend of sexy, sweet, and funny keep the pages flying."

Her other hobby? Yoga.

Jasmine has a 2,000-plus-day yoga streak! The practice has a significant impact on her health and creativity. We'll dive into the impact a health streak can have on all aspects of your life.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How Jasmine knew it was time to quit her day job
• What "research" looks like when you're writing romantic fiction
• The impact Reese Witherspoon's attention has on an author's life
• How a non-work creative outlet adds value to your personal and mental health
• And the backstory on Jasmine's 2000+ day yoga streak and how it impacts her physical health and creativity

How To Be Fine With Jolenta Greenberg And Kristen Meinzer

Fine is just fine.

That's the premise of a book and podcast taking aim at the self-development and wellness industries.

Marketresearch.com estimates the self-improvement industry is worth more than $10 billion a year. It exploded virtually during the pandemic.

Jolenta Greenberg, a comedian and self-described reality TV historian, and Kristen Meinzer, a culture critic, lived by 100 self-improvement books. They evaluated the good, the bad and the truly ridiculous.

Their adventures were the basis for a podcast called "By the Book."

Their big conclusion? Being fine is just fine.

Greenberg and Meinzer went on to write the book "How to be Fine" and now co-host a podcast by the same name that offers advice to listeners while tackling other wellness trends.

"Look at the credentials of who is giving you advice. That's my first pointer, and the first thing I sort of learned to do once I started really reading some advice that was out there. Look at the source. Is the person a doctor? Is it an honorary doctorate? Did they actually go to school to become a doctor? Just make sure the person who's giving you advice is someone you actually trust before you jump all in," Greenberg said.

 

On this Dying to Ask:

• The danger of "positive thinking" your way out of jams.
• How to evaluate a motivational speaker.
• Techniques to critically evaluate whether a self-help program is worth your time and money
• Jolenta and Kristen's picks for the worst self-help books on the NY Times Best Seller's List (hint: you'll recognize a few!)

Running While Black With Alison Mariella Desir

Running saved Alison Mariella Desir's life. Now she wants to save running from itself.

Alison's new book, "Running While Black: Finding Freedom in a Sport that Wasn't Built for Us," is a memoir.

It simultaneously tells her personal story while uncovering the historic reasons why distance running is a predominantly white sport, tracing it to the origins of the running industry, racial discrimination and white supremacy.

Alison decided to train for a marathon to fight depression. It worked. But, she quickly realized her experience as a Black female runner was drastically different from white women.

She wrote an op-ed for Outside Magazine called "Ahmaud Arbery and Whiteness in the Running World" that went viral and ultimately led to her book.

She is the founder of Harlem Run and Run 4 All Women movement to support women's reproductive rights. She's an advocate, a brand ambassador and most recently, the TV host and producer of "Out and Back with Alison Mariella Desir."

Well + Good named her one of its "Changemakers of 2023" and Women's Running Magazine calls her one of the "Power Women of 2022."

Running While Black is unlike any other book I've read. It will make you think, make you laugh, and likely make you look at a start line with different eyes.

On this Dying to Ask:

• Who inspired Alison to start running and what she noticed instantly
• What happened after she started her own running club in Harlem and only one person showed up
• The historic reasons distance running and the running industry lack diversity
• Why movement is a powerful agent for social change
• And the unusual opportunities that have come Alison's way since her memoir came out

Connect with Alison Mariella Desir:

On Instagram

On Twitter

Harlem Run Retreat.

Alaska Retreat.

The Power Of The Happily Ever After With Brenda Novak

Brenda Novak is the queen of the HEA. Happily ever after. And, she wouldn't have it any other way.

"We've been through some rough years for sure. I think that that is just so enjoyable to see two people overcome whatever challenges they face to find a happy ever after," says Novak.

Novak will publish The Seaside Library, her 75th book, in April. She's known primarily as a romance novelist. But, in recent years, she's pivoted to writing romantic suspense and women's fiction.

The Seaside Library is the perfect beach read. And, she'll kick off a two month tour in an Airstream trailer retrofitted to function as a bookstore and coffee shop on wheels. Check out her "bookstream" here.

Novak's introduction to writing sounds like one of her plot twists. She was working as a loan officer and caught her babysitter drugging her kid with cough syrup.

She looked around for a job she could do at home and settled on writing books. She had no experience. But, she had an incredible imagination and work ethic.

Novak quickly realized she'd need to publish frequently to make the money she needed and settled on the romance genre.

She's averaged three novels a year ever since and has a legendary connection with her fans. She's a mother of five and has been married for nearly 40 years to her husband Ted, her real-life happily ever after.   

On this Dying to Ask:

• What it's like to have written 75 books
• How Brenda pivoted from romance to suspense and women's fiction
• Why we all need an "internal editor" and how to follow it
• What publishing has in common with Netflix
• Relationship advice from the queen of romance

Other places to listen

CLICK HERE to listen on iTunes
CLICK HERE to listen on Stitcher

BONUS: Creativity Hack From Elizabeth Gilbert

In a rut? Want to be more creative? Author Elizabeth Gilbert finds inspiration in a box of crayons.

Really.

Gilbert is the author of seven books, including the New York Times Best Seller "Eat, Pray, Love."

But even she feels stuck sometimes. And that's saying something considering she wrote a book about creativity called "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear."

Her hack? Crayons.

"Lots of times, all I do is just make baked giant circles. It was something that soothed me when I was 3. It soothed me when I was 8. It soothed me when I was 11, and it soothes me now when I'm 53," Gilbert said.

In this bonus "Dying to Ask" podcast episode, author Elizabeth Gilbert shares her favorite hack to spark creativity and the specific type of crayon that makes the big magic happen.

Here is where to find the crayons Liz talks about.

’Eat Pray Love’ And Get Creative With Elizabeth Gilbert

Eat, pray, love and get creative.

Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of "Eat Pray Love" is taking on creativity these days.

"Eat Pray Love" has sold more than 13 million copies. It inspired a movement. It also, depending on who you ask, inspired a lot of divorces.

Julia Roberts starred in the movie adaptation in 2010.

Gilbert's memoir tells the story of how she rediscovered who she is and who she wants to be on a solo trip around the world following a divorce.

More than 15 years later, the story is reaching a new generation of readers but its core message hasn't changed.

"I always think, as women, we forget that we belong to ourselves. I think 'Eat Pray Love' was this giant celebration of that. I think that book is a giant permission slip that reminds women to change their lives, leave their lives, and most of all remember their lives belong to them," says Gilbert.

"Eat Pray Love" is Gilbert's biggest book. But she's a prolific writer.

Gilbert is the author of seven books of fiction and nonfiction. Her book, "Big Magic," offers advice on how to cultivate creativity. It offers ways to get unstuck if you're feeling mentally blocked.

On this Dying to Ask:

• What the reaction from readers is like more than 15 years after the release of "Eat Pray Love."
• What it's like to be primarily known for one book when you've written lots of books.
• Advice on how to unlock creativity and why we all need a "thing."
• Her connection to the movie "Coyote Ugly."

 

The 5 People You Need to Know

"Who's in your five?"

That T-Mobile ad was onto something.

In part 2 of our conversation with Dr. Ivan Misner, we're talking about the 5 types of people you need to know.

Dr. Ivan Misner was nicknamed the "Father of Modern Networking" by both CNN and Forbes. He's the founder of Business Network International (BNI,) a business networking organization with more than 10, 000 chapters globally.

His colleagues call him "the people scientist." He's an expert in workplace dynamics and relationship building.

His latest book is a deep dive into your five, as the T-Mobile commercial says.

"Who's in Your Room? The Question That Will Change Your Life" is a metaphor that asks the reader to evaluate their relationships.

Did your friend circle shrink during the pandemic?

There's a reason for that.

Your inner circle, whether professional or personal, has a great impact on your mental health and mindset.

In this Dying to Ask:

• How to evaluate your inner circle
• The types of people you need to know
• The types of people you don't need to know
• How to have a tough conversation with a toxic person
• How to be the type of person other people want to hang out with
• How to authentically re-establish contact with a friend you've lost touch with over the years

Other places to listen

CLICK HERE to listen on iTunes
CLICK HERE to listen on Stitcher

Why Small Talk Matters

Small talk gets a bad rap. But small talk can lead to big payoffs if you do it correctly.

Dr. Ivan Misner was nicknamed the "Father of Modern Networking" by both CNN and Forbes. He's the founder of Business Network International (BNI,) a business networking organization with more than 10, 000 chapters globally.

His colleagues call him "the people scientist." He's an expert in workplace dynamics and relationship building.

Misner says networking has changed a lot since the pandemic and the increase of work-from-home jobs. It's more important than ever to initiate face-to-face conversations with colleagues or others in your community. Those small moments can lead to job opportunities or deeper connections with friends.

Want to get to know someone better or expand your social circle? Initiate some small talk.

But conversation can be tricky. Say the wrong thing and you might end the connection. Say nothing and you might lose an opportunity to expand your network.

Misner has hacks to increase your comfort level in any social setting.

Don't know what to say? You will after listening to this episode.

On this Dying to Ask:

• Why small talk equals big opportunities
• How COVID-19 and work-from-home gigs have impacted networking
• How to start a conversation with anyone
• The best follow-up question to deepen a business conversation
• How to network without feeling like an idiot
• How to re-start a friendship with someone you've lost touch with over the years

 

Is Temptation Bundling The Ultimate Habit Hacker?

Struggling to form a habit? Temptation bundling could boost your willpower.

Temptation bundling is the concept of bundling a behavior you don't want to do with an activity that you do like to do. The idea is that by pairing the two actions, you're more likely to follow through on the harder habit.

The habit hack can give willpower a boost. And it can make everything from working out to cleaning the house a little more enjoyable.

On this Dying to Ask:

• The psychology behind temptation bundling
• Ideas on how to bundle fitness and tough family conversations

The Most Stressful Word In The English Language

You SHOULD stop saying the word SHOULD immediately if you want a near-instant boost to your mental health and creativity.

That's the recommendation from psychotherapist Dr. Ron Alexander.

Dr. Alexander is a go-to mindset shifter for clients including Apple, Universal Pictures, Sony Entertainment and Microsoft.

He's also the author of Core Creativity: The Mindful Way to Unlock your Creative Self.

The American Psychological Association says 27% of adults report being so stressed they can't function in everyday life! Read the report here. 

Dr. Alexander has a simple tip that provides a lot of us relief.

Stop saying the word should.

He calls it the most stressful word in the English language.

Dr. Alexander says the word should is harmful because "it implies you are wasting time or doing things that aren't important instead of what you 'should' be doing."

You can stay out of the stress zone and get a near-instant positivity boost by using different self-talk.

On this Dying to Ask:

• How the word should impacts mindset
• What you can say instead of should to reduce stress
• What the second most stressful word is that you likely use all day long
• And how quickly your stress levels decrease by dropping the word should